YOUTUBE WITHDRAWAL: FAIL

I watched "The Notebook" today on Youtube.

It really helps, though, that I don't have an account. At least I'm not spending 4 hours on the damned site.

Maybe 2. But it's a start.

Still, tomorrow, it should narrow down to 1 video. Preferably none, but I'm not perfect.

YOUTUBE WITHDRAWAL: Day 2

It's not so bad. Taking this step by step (i.e. a specified number of videos daily), it's ok.
So far.

On the other hand, I'm increasingly watching sappy movies (i.e. Pride and Prejudice) and wondering when "Becoming Jane" and "Atonement" will come out, and looking for respectable films for Film class that I can analyze and use for my film study. At least that's somewhat

Finished "The Kite Runner", by Khaled Hosseini. Overall, it was pretty riveting and engrossing, but a lot of it was so predictable, and the plot was a bit unrealistic. I think it went overboard towards the end, starting from where Assef turned out to be the official in the Taliban who was abusing Hassan's kid Sohrab. But otherwise, I think I liked it - I'm not quite sure, though, I have mixed feelings about it. It did make me cry, and then feel pretty crappy afterwards for living a "good life" (I was eating mocha cake from BreakTalk while I was reading it)... talking to my mom about it helped, a bit. I'm not sure if I can say this for fear of sounding really stupid and ignorant, but it is a very "fun" book (meaning fast-paced) and it does make you think outside of your little bubble for a moment. I can't believe the people of Afghanistan are still living like this. productive... right?

(on the side note)

I had a strange dream when I napped today. About thousands of man-eating turtles swarming on a platform in some remote cliff in a distant part of the country. My sisters/friends (I can't remember which) were having a trip and we stumbled upon them as we took elevator/sky-lift to go see them. And somehow, it was there again when we reached the ground, and I had to swim towards them for unknown reasons... and then it goes blank.

Then shifts to a house with a lot of cats. I remember old furniture and a mention of a quest or destiny of some sort.

Is this an indication of stress? Or craziness...?

YOUTUBE WITHDRAWAL: Day 1

10 minutes ago, I deleted my Youtube account and vowed to embark on a journey of soul-cleansing and re-self-discovery.

Let me tell you this - for 2 years, I have been a faithful Youtube user. It all started when Jobo sent me a Naruto episode via MSN (when I was addicted to chatting, of course) and I was struck by the wonders of the Internet. I looked up Kenshin and had 96 episodes of beauty open up to me. My "total number of videos watched" count climbed up to 3,500 in my first few months.

I was 14.

This is totally not to something written to be funny. Of course, a lot of people could be reading this and laughing their heads off, but it's been really difficult. Already, I'm regretting my decision. People don't realize how hard it is to be working and resist the urge to take a 5 minute break to watch a little video.... and then that 5 minutes turns into 30, and then an hour, and then 2 and then 6.

Only today, I was chatting with a friend, who wrote, "Since when have you become a fan girl?" And then I had an epiphany - I was a fan girl. What were my hobbies? When was the last time I hung out with anyone? I've realized how much of my academic life was wasted away, and I've decided to do something about it. I could very well be sleeping at 10, or using those hours wasted and still sleep at 3/4 but be productive enough to use my good brain.

So begins day 1 of my withdrawal, and the beginning of my "Overcoming an Addiction" series of this blog. Believe me, I am not being melodramatic. My friends will know how serious I am about this.

HAPPIEST DAY OF JUNIOR YEAR SO FAR ZOMG!

Weird Dreams are Bothering Me

And there was a part where the package started leaking and a bit of the cat tail dripped off of the corners...

Strange, it's been a few days since the dream and I can still remember that bit very vividly. I was panicking because the cat was starting to melt and I hadn't made my decision of whether or whether or not to buy it. As soon as the tail dripped (more like squeezed) out, the owner took the squelchy package and told me I could get a new one if I wanted.

"And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad... The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had..." - Gary Jules

Speaking of surreal terrors:

Frank the Bunny is starting to fascinate me.

Donnie Darko in film class!

Huzzah!

I LOVE PHOTOSHOP

1024 x 768, Rurouni Kenshin wallpapers

If a random stranger stumbles upon this and wants to take them for his/her own, that's totally fine by me, as long as they are credited back to me, Tsarinelle. I will be very angry if my rights are violated.

Falling Off the Earth

"Falling Off The Earth"

It's funny how adamant I was about the BT not publishing my sister's essay because I felt that, once it was out, the entire High School (not just the ones who have already known me and my tragic background) would know that I was the younger sister of an insanely good writer soon to be graduating Yale in the spring of next year. I still feel the same way, and I know that once the name gets out, everything I do will be in the shadow of her undeniable reputation. Just like applying to the damned school... I get in, it's goes unnoticed, like something long predicted. I get rejected, and it's almost atrocious (on my part). Either way, comparisons are going to be made...

This piece had to coincide with my sister's application essay, "WHY I WRITE: A fear of falling off the Earth", which talks about how she writes to preserve things past and try, feebly, to hold her footing in an Earth that spins uncontrollably fast.

I wish I could write like that. We're all very much lost in space and trying to bring ourselves back to reality holding on is ultimately life's greatest challenge... All the escapists of the world should be given a little bubble to access and live in for a given amount of time. Of course, this is now called video gaming and virtual reality. :)